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Why So Afraid?

September 4th, 2023

Fear is everywhere.

It’s gotten to a point where I distance myself from social media and anywhere I’m able to read other people’s thoughts on all types of subjects. Fear is prevalent throughout those discussions.

People fear failure. We also fear taking risks. No risk, no reward though. And your self-confidence takes a huge hit deep down. You try to find other ways to make you feel adequate. Relying on external entities to help build your self-esteem is a huge red flag, by the way.

It takes a great deal of self-awareness to realize this. Courage is the antidote.

Let’s start with the bad news, which is that fear isn’t going anywhere. You’ll always fear something, because who goes through and masters everything in the world?

The good news is using fear can catapult you to new heights. You have two options when presented with fear; you either run away from them and die a thousand deaths or conquer it and build your armor.

When you conquer a fear, you learn from it. You’re able to take what you learned with you to the next roadblock. If you don’t conquer it and hide, you’ll feel inadequate. Empty.

No matter the track record, you can start today. When you feel intimidated by a task, remind yourself of who you are and the things you’ve overcome.
Don’t Do What Stupid People Do

July 19th, 2023

One of the dumbest things you can do is not listen to someone.

Another one of the dumbest things you can do is not take the advice of someone that’s been down that road before.

Would you take the advice of an alcoholic that lost everything? It depends on what they’re saying. You’ll miss out on a wealth of knowledge judging someone and not giving them the opportunity to prove you wrong.

Autobiographies and memoirs are filled with wisdom. But many of their lessons aren’t realized due to either laziness or ego.

The best way to get an advantage over your enemy is to learn your enemy. You may realize that they aren’t your true enemy at all.

Stupid people aren’t objective. Stupid people let their emotions and feelings override fact. They love the story. It makes them feel good. They don’t have the emotional intelligence to pivot.

Don’t be stupid. Stupid people don’t win.
Your Truth

June 25th, 2023

Perception is strange. You think you have it all figured out. Your situation, their problem… the world’s problem. Until you don’t. Your entire world, your entire existence is now under question.

Why did this happen? How could I have ever thought that way?

Interactions with others is a dance. It’s a dance of judgement, thoughts and personalities. A person’s entire existence led them to their interaction with you, and vice versa. It’s not uncommon for people to offend others without knowing so, or being aware of it.

Often, we judge people based off what we THOUGHT they intended to do. Somebody “borrows” $500 from you, but you aren’t able to return it. “Why did you steal my money?” Well, I heard about this great investment and I didn’t have the money, so I saw some laying around and thought that I could make you ten times as much. I didn’t intend for this to happen. “Why did you throw me a surprise party? I hate surprises and you know that I hate being the center of attention.” Relax, it’s just a party. I wanted you to have a good time around family and friends.

Well, great. Your intentions were “pure”. How did that turn out?

Unfortunately, many people will believe that the person trying to help shouldn’t be scorned. Sorry, but good intentions don’t make you exempt from taking accountability for a fuck up.

We live in a strange world where people find it justifiable to kill someone if they lay a hand on their mother. The love and security you have for your loved one is honorable, trust me it is. But yeah, you’re going to prison if you kill that person (in most states).

It may feel right, but it doesn’t mean you should do what you feel.

That person just littered. I feel like punching that guy in the fuckin’ face right now for that bullshit. I’ll envision it, even dream it. I won’t pull the trigger.

“Living your truth” sounds good in theory, but remember that your truth is bullshit to everyone else. You are not special in the grand scheme of things. Someone living “their truth” is more important than yours. You are an ant. They could step on you and wouldn’t bat an eye.

The closer you are with THE truth, the better. It’s takes a great deal of self-awareness and objectivity. It’s difficult for the self-centered, but so worth the time and effort.
Take A Break

May 9th, 2023

Burnout is real. Don’t think so? Keep going until you can’t anymore.

Sometimes the best thing you need at the moment is a break. A break from everything. Cut off the TV. Stop binge watching YouTube videos. Get off the apps.

It’s easy to get wrapped up in all of the little things that have no direct effect on your life. These algorithms are a mf. They’re designed to keep you hooked. When you get to about day 2 of your dopamine cleanse, you’ll feel more anxious. Don’t worry though, it’s normal. You were hooked. It will subside.

Some activities I recommend when you want to unplug are reading, working out and cleaning. Yes, cleaning. Take some time to reorganize your life. Clean your living space. Reorganize your clothing. Sort through your clothes and sell/give away the clothes you don’t wear anymore. GO OUTSIDE. Go take a damn walk.

There’s nothing wrong with being bored. When I was a kid, it was normal. We didn’t have the devices and apps to keep us company whenever we were bored. Sure, we had video games, movies, etc., but when we were out and about, that was it. Nowadays, people are connected to their phones. It’s an issue.

You don’t have to get rid of the devices and apps. Just limit your use. Have control over yourself. There are alcohol lovers that can control how much they use and lead extremely productive lives. Then there’s…

Take control of your life. Take a break, catch your breath.
Draymond Green

April 19th, 2023

Yet another example of emotions not being controlled. Draymond Green is suspended for 1 playoff game for stomping on somebody’s chest. After the stomp, he played it up to the crowd. I guess it made him feel better about himself or the situation… or whatever.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t expect people to be perfect. I expect people to be able to control the things that they actually have control over.

Your emotions are powerful. Power can be good or bad. If you don’t know how to control or channel your emotions correctly, you will only wind up looking like a fool.

Don’t be a fool. Don’t get tricked out of your position. Your emotions can lead you to your death if not controlled.

Control your emotions.
Frequently Misused: “Be Patient”

March 29th, 2023

“Be patient” is one of the most misunderstood phrases.

Patience is important. Patience is needed. But “good things come to those who wait” is dangerous and misleading.

If you put in the work, consistently and vigorously, being patient will indeed be fruitful. The key is to put in the work. Patience alone will only feed you crumbs.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it surely wasn’t slow rolled. Don’t search for quotes to help validate your excuses. Of course your brain is going to tell you to take it easy. It wants to protect you.

The other side of fear is intense growth and happiness. Run to the fire, not comfort. The comfort will be waiting for you after the work is done.
Jamirah Shutes. Control your emotions.

March 26th, 2023

University of Memphis guard Jamirah Shutes has been charged with assault for allegedly punching Bowling Green player Elissa Brett as both teams lined up for handshakes following the BGSU Falcons’ third-round victory in the Women’s National Invitational Tournament on Thursday Night.

Reading this can take you to a certain place, but it won’t take everyone to the same place. Across social media, the “outrage” or “blowback” is what you would expect. There are a handful of individuals that feel she should be barred from attending any university. There are others that say the handshake lines are the culprit, that after an intense game, it can lead to uncontrollable emotional outbursts.

Then there are those with a more rational outlook. Should she be reprimanded? Of course. There’s no place for this anywhere. It doesn’t matter if it happens often or not. Suspension. Community service, since she’s been charged. Keep the handshake lines. Why the hell would you take away something that can build an enormous amount of character, resolve and motivation, because someone couldn’t take the head in the passion of the moment? Be gracious in victory, humble in defeat.

Judging people in their worst moments is a national pastime. Pessimists and those who aren’t comfortable or happy with a situation, or their lives in general, cannot wait to point the finger and ridicule others. The flip-side is, there are a good number of people that, since they too can see themselves react the way Jamirah did, believe she should be fully exonerated of all charges. Elissa clearly had to have said something racist. (You didn’t think the race card was going to stay inside the pocket for this one, did you? It’s 2023. People are carrying that card around their necks like a Jesus piece. )

Regardless of anybody’s opinions, Jamirah will have to deal with the consequences of her actions. Hopefully, nothing but good things are done and come to those that have been directly affected by this stupid altercation.

There are a few things people need to understand and implement in their daily lives, if they want to avoid these types of situations and also be the helping source for others that can potentially go down this route: 1. Think before you act. It’s easy to feel you have to react quickly. You don’t. Take your time. 2. A person that cannot control their emotions is only respected by those who also cannot control their emotions. Control your emotions and be respected by people that actually matter. 3. Be the person that other people look up to and model themselves after. Think of what you ultimately want to be and how you want to act. Now, do it.
What does it take?

December 11th, 2022

It takes a lot.

Different backgrounds, different genes, different experiences. It skews your level of difficulty.

Every person on this earth will encounter hardship. Heartbreak. Death. How you handle those moments will shape your life. How you view yourself. How others view you. And let’s not pretend that we don’t care how others view us.

It takes a lot for someone to admit that they themselves are the reason behind their blunders. It takes a lot to get up hours before you’re scheduled to show up to work, to work out, read, stretch, work on your business… whatever it is that you choose to do at the break of dawn. It takes a lot.

That bed is warm. It’s still dark out. Gonna be freezing when you get out of this warm bed. You’ll be this tired all day if you get up now. Just go back to sleep for a few more minutes. It won’t hurt.

Discipline. Motivation. They aren’t the same. Motivation gets you going. Discipline keeps you there.

People fall off the wagon often. It’s not a death sentence (unless it is). Get back on.

It takes a lot. Show up every day and get it. Earn your rest.
Fake vs. Real

November 4th, 2020

Remember when you believed that the “real” would always prevail over the “fake”? Good times, right? Well that doesn’t matter anymore. The world is under attack, and it’s been this way for roughly 15ish years. Don’t bother asking someone on social media about this. Nothing will get accomplished, unless you like getting into a pissing contest with professional contrarians.

No matter how harmless something looks, it can be used to stir up drama. Sometimes unintentionally. Drama sells. Ask VH-1. Ask Lifetime. I don’t believe the “creators” of social media meant for their countless hours of brainstorming, planning and workforce building to lead to crippling levels of depression, suicide, feelings of worthlessness and all the other horrible things that have come to be. It’s turned into a zombie. When a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie. BUT, social media is a bit different that Resident Evil 2. When you back away for a while, you realize you’re infected. You feel those lingering feelings. When you received that dopamine rush via LIKE a few weeks ago, you remember how great you felt. Unfortunately, you also felt the pressure mount. How can I do this again, and then some? Why didn’t I only receive 1 like? What do I have to do for 2?

That person that liked your picture? Yeah, her? She probably doesn’t like you or your picture. What if she only liked your picture so that you MAY return the favor in the future? Do you like sharing needles? What if she liked your picture to piss off her boyfriend? What if she did it by mistake? Oh you don’t mind sharing needles?

“That doesn’t matter! What matters is I got the LIKE!”.

We’ve reached levels of intense delusion on social media. Former leaders of these companies have come out to warn people of the dangers. These programs are programmed to keep you on. Wait, a program is programmed? What are the odds of that?

Unfortunately, big money has taken over. They do not care about the well being of its users. They know it hypnotizes people, but the green. The green is what matters now. Power and money. The dynamic duo. This duo has the ability to help someone from the slums climb their way to success… only to then turn against them and be the ultimate cause of their demise.

It’s ultimately your decision, of course. Do whatever you want to do. Free country, right?
This is … entertainment?

January 6th, 2020

You think THIS moment is THE moment… until it isn’t the moment anymore. It’s easy to get carried away emotionally, especially when life happens. But, there is no excuse for doing the most in the moment.

Wildcard Weekend is over. Fan bases are livid. Opposing fans are verbally assaulting the victors. The victors have said “To hell with humility” and returned fire with super gangster internet disses. The Patriots are clearly all racists because they’re based in the Boston area and Saints fans clearly drink too much and ride floats to work (if they even have a job).

Now of course, barely any of this happens in real life. The devil wouldn’t allow that to happen consistently. This all happened on social media. What was once a great place has turned into a hellhole. If people aren’t faking, they’re taking. It’s amazing how protected people feel on their little phones, but at the same time… you shouldn’t be surprised.

High school recruits are now subject to ridicule and jokes from “adults”. Could you imagine being 16, minding your business, playing a sport you love, practicing hard to get better… one clip is released showing you struggle and now you have a 53 year old saying things like “LOL. HOW IS HE A 5 STAR?! HE’S A JOKE!”? 53, fat, bald and never touched an athletic field in his life. Social media granted him access to feel like a “somebody”.

College athletes used to be treated like true student athletes. Teams would get criticized, but it would never be directly to a player. This day in age? Yeah right. Want to know why that changed? Social media. It used to be that the winning team’s fan base would celebrate the win. Now you barely get that. It’s jokes about the other team. It’s ridicule. Even in the win, fans will write down every issue they had with the damn win (I feel you Nick Saban).

Where I come from, you have to back up your talk. In person. Not through the phones. Unfortunately, social media has been hijacked. It is full of pompous, fake and ugly people that will do anything to make someone else’s life miserable like theirs. Gone are the days where champions are celebrated. Gone are the days of being humble in victory and gracious in defeat. There is no more humility. There is no more gratitude. Those who show it, get chewed up and spit out.

But, there is hope. The majority of all the terribleness is in your phone. While you could pay a hacker to track down the loser with 3 followers that called you a gay slur because you’re a 49er fan, don’t do it. Trust, I know it would feel great to pull up, but it isn’t worth it. Let the peasants fool the other peasants into thinking they’re royalty. Let them post their gifs of people laughing. Let them post their little emojis. At the end of the day, they are sitting alone and doing whatever it takes to bring someone down to their level. Their internet friends are also sitting in their underwear, alone.

Just point and laugh. That’s always fun.

Peace.